Well, hello, you sadist.
You’re here because you don’t like to be beaten…
…You’re here because you like to do the beatings.
You’re here because it’s time to inflict some serious pain on your competition.
Our research shows that the most used words in company website headlines, in this order, are: business (85%), services (76%), and solutions (52%).
Which means you can beat them - easily.
While your perfect buyer is confused, frustrated, and struggling to tell one company from the other, you can tap them on the shoulder and be their friend for life.
Very few companies have the opportunity to dominate their competition in the way you do.
It's time to start dishing out those beatings.
Grab your favourite paddle, wooden spoon, or open palm and lean into your inner sadist.
How it works
Think this is too good to be true?
A series of online workshops where you’ll learn how to update and implement your own positioning and messaging.
Prices begin at £2,399 + VAT.
Where our team will do competitive and customer research, and workshops with your executive team to develop and implement your new market positioning and messaging across your website.
Prices begin at £11,899 + VAT.
Which includes everything above, as well as new case studies, brochures, and advertising and sales material.
Prices begin at £19,799 + VAT.
Now for the boring bit…
This offer has rules! Rules you must follow, or you can’t redeem your coupon and get your Noh mask. If you can’t redeem your coupon, you will be sad, and we will be sad too.
The rules are:
- You must have a signed contract with us
- Your project must be either a Soba: Miso, Soba: Maki, or Soba: Bento
- Your coupon can be used only once, for one transaction
- You must book your project by 5pm on 30 July 2025.
Each Noh mask is handmade and made to order. Therefore production, postage, and delivery times can vary. We will tell you once your Noh mask is on its way to you.
All images are to be taken as representations and examples only. Each Noh mask is unique and it’s unlikely that the mask you receive will look like the mask in the promotional images.
When you redeem your coupon, you may be tagged in LinkedIn posts on the Soba: Private Label company page and Storm Mackay’s personal page (that’s me, hi).
Terms and conditions
Interested in the legal stuff? We can’t relate, but fair fucks to you. You can read all of the terms and conditions, in all of their glory, by clicking the button below (that goes without saying, you know how buttons work).
Godspeed, and we’re excited to work with you.
Something about the promotion not clear? Well, never fear - the Ramen Rascal is here to help.
If there’s anything you need to know about the promotion you can pop the Ramen Rascal an email, and she’ll probably get back to you (it’s more likely a real-life human will, though).